RIghteous Indignation

The protective nature of fathers is a well documented fact. Everyone knows that a dad is supposed to be mindful of his children, even overly so in some cases; this is normal, this is to be expected.

I understand this in theory and have even felt stirrings of this fatherly ire as hypothetical situations have run through my mind wherein my daughter was in some kind of danger. But never have I felt this fatherly attribute as I did today as an insect assaulted my little Alesa.

One of her favorite things in the world is to be outside. Any time she is grumpy, or otherwise out of sorts, I take her out onto the porch and she calms down and sits quietly for as long as I can stand the heat. Today during one of our front porch forays a few mosquitoes decided to dine on my obviously sweet blood. As they darted to and fro between my legs I watched them carefully and shooed them off when necessary. I was confident that they knew better than to accost the precious bundle perched on my knee.

Momentarily distracted by a police cruiser with its lights on, I looked back down to survey the quiet battle that had been waging with the vampires of the insect kingdom. To my utter awe, there, perched on the chubby right leg of my Alesa, was a mosquito! The nerve! The utter gal of this disgusting insect, to attempt to suck the precious blood of my most prized possession!

At that moment there awoke within me the full force of a father’s fury. I was enraged at the impudence of this worthless being, a foe upon which I then released the full force of the raging fires that burned within. This being, who was so foolish as to offend a man, who unto him stood like a vengeful God, the power of life and death in his hands and not an ounce of mercy or goodwill in his mind. Had my thoughts been both coherent and audible, I believe they would have sounded something like this,

"Aroint thee vile fiend! Get thee hence, back to the stagnant pool from which you came lest I make you wish you had never reared your pointed head from the larval state in which ye so unoffendingly existed until this moment! Back I say, or suffer the pain of a thousand hells and deaths which most assuredly lie before you! No? Stay will you? Then I will strike down upon you with great vengeance and furious anger, and your brethren will know that my name is The Lord, when they see the vengeance I have laid down upon thee; DIE!" (Last sentence borrowed/modified, compliments of Samuel L. Jackson)

And thus ended the mosquito. Having seen this fatherly ire in action, I pity and any sentient being (future boyfriends) who willingly, or unwillingly offend or hurt my daughter (future ex-boyfriends), because the feelings I had today will undoubtedly be much stronger in the face of more grievous circumstances (future ex-boyfriends who are also future missing persons).